Curiosity is this golden currency that has been lost on modern discourse. Everyone is busy sparring with each other over precious resources, limited real estate, and all the other constrictions that come from living under a tyrannical rule set. The easiest way to conquer a people from within is to reduce and reduce their living standard over time so they are less and less possessed of creativity and higher ideals.
Curiosity, in personal relationships, allows us to understand another person’s perspective and simply consider it as feedback to gather from or leave alone. When we lead with curiosity, we take some confusing behavior or decision on the part of another and say, “I don’t understand WHY exactly this happened, so let me find out.” A conversation about motives leads to intimacy. Deciding another person’s motives, even if you have a high degree of certainty and evidence supporting your certainty, should be left to the side as the behavior of indelicate, rude people. Again, we are talking about personal relationships here. The world is a jungle of no-rules but the House rules, and you do what you have to do to keep your sanity and integrity. The world is filled with people aching to do others harm and these people are no owed curiosity. Our personal relationships are dynamic and extended, meaning we can take the time and the courtesy to do them right.
It is good to leave your closest personal relationships in a state of “resolution”, meaning there is no conflict or loose ends. This is accomplished through a conversational relationship and a conversational relationship is only maintained by curiosity. Curiosity is what allows us to know another person more deeply. When we decide who they are, instead of remaining open to their process of learning and growth, we limit them with conclusions and also do great harm to ourselves thereby. People “trap” themselves into relationships of conclusions, thinking it’s the way to hold onto others when in fact it is the way to remain lonely despite having “friends”. Until a person learns to respect curiosity as the golden currency for their personal relationships, they will drift from person to person over the years and never be at peace.