Tag: relationships

  • An Excess Of Self-Concern

    When not-enough is too much.

    I have lived with chronic illness for roughly 10 years now. I know exactly what it is — it’s just treatment resistant and modern medicine doesn’t have much in the way of answers, mostly because modern medicine spawned it. Lots of people just kind of give up in the face of it and live restricted, diminished lives. The good news is that it took me 9.5 of those years to even have the exact name of what’s plaguing me.

    So every day I wake up or stand up from being awake for a lot of the night, and do a ritual where I read, consult AI, mark down data, do an adjustment or two, and get on with my life. But this health struggle used to consume the entirety of my thoughts.

    I would love to not have to think about it or account for it anymore.

    Thankfully, I have a lot to live for, am active in the lives of others, and had a tremendous tour de force on this philosophical journey before any of the health stuff kicked off.

    But for people who have been saddled by child abuse and its resultant madness, there can be no North Star to compare to.

    There is this agonized middle ground that some people walk where they are cognizant that there’s something wrong with them, therefore they take steps to alleviate it, and what modicum of improvement they gain is what they satisfy themselves with, not knowing that it could be so much better for them.

    I met a lot of people like this when I was in a Masters for Counseling. They’d done some baby steps and thought they were ready experts. And compared to most of the sandaled goyim at Walmart, they were!

    Fortunately, self-knowledge is a merciful process. Only a small portion of it ever “holds out” against your best efforts, usually in the form of a difficult addiction. If you put in the work, you see results. But “the work” is different for everyone and you need some good feedback to bring it into focus.

    A lot of depression is an inability to get out of the drama. You have these critics and cynics just running in your head 24-7 and you are inundated.

    You turn toward yourself to make it better and you drown.

    This is why connection to others is so important.

    Late last summer and into the fall, I went through a phase where I just had to vent about my medical issues to people behind my paywall. I was in the thick of talking to specialists, getting prescribed crazy, expensive pills, and trying to make sense of it all — all with my typical perseverance and my refrain, “Guys I am about to fix it this week!” That support from others was crucial and it helped me to knock a lot of the maladies off of the list. I went from having 5 not-so-good and 1 bad thing going on with me to now just 1 bad thing.

    This can be likened to madness and addiction. The relevant treatment for madness is interpersonal connection, physical exercise, moral/philosophical discernment, and then you get a “clearance” experience where you breath a tremendous sigh of relief.

    I would caution against too much self-reliance. There is an Aristotelian mean for everything. The more resourced I have become, through speaking to people far and wide through the Internet and through LLM’s + research, the more knowledgeable I have become. I am more humbled and awed by the collective genius of mankind.

    I would love to work in the medical field in a lab research setting but the credentials to get in there are goofy and not what I want to spend my time doing, especially with a young family.

    With madness, the more adept you become at resolving it, the more capable you are of transmitting outwards in a way that leads to more rationality and solace for others. The more rational you are, the more of an organizing force you are on the world.

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    Reach out to me for any private coaching you need.

    With resolution comes an availability to look outwards and resolve what is beyond you.

    When I was younger, I thought my life’s work was firmly squared on philosophy + counseling. But as I learn more and more, I see just how rampant the chronic illness epidemic is in America, largely due to statism’s effects on the food, air, and water supplies. There has also been an extreme over-prescription of antibiotics that is leading to incurable conditions. I want be of assistance somehow!

    Everyone has their own strengths and tendencies to develop — not everyone is a “healer”. There are plenty of fields outside of “healing” that can benefit from integration with philosophy. Maybe you will be the first to do it…

    Seeing the self-defeat alleviate in someone and be replaced by motivation, enthusiasm, and inspiration is a tremendous honor and privilege.

    Through our meaningful work in the world, we see such restoration in others. But getting to that meaningful work can involve walking a personal labyrinth for a time. Lots of people remain stranded in various stages of maturity because they will not address their blind spots or cannot muster the courage to make a leap. Not everyone “makes it”.

    Getting outside contact to people who have “made it” is so vital for your calibration. I’m contending with something highly pathogenic and treatment resistant, yet I do know there’s hope because there’s roughly a 60% clearance rate for the intensive track I’m on.

    Self-knowledge is doable. It can be done efficiently. It doesn’t have to take forever. You will see results, especially if you are not trapping yourself in a solipsistic concern that leaves little room for education enrichment and talking to people who have “cleared madness”. But woe to the person who stays ensconced in their own resources and does not reach out. Isolation is a hell of a drug. World scary and bad. Digital device safe and snuggly.


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    A song I listened to while writing this article.

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  • Rescuing A Woman

    If you’re unfamiliar with my term Heartbreak World, it’s basically a descriptor for the social matrix we’re all caught in:

    -loyalty is praised but not actually practiced to any real extent

    -people’s brains are cooked by their private hedonism they engage in on their devices whereas in yesteryear they would have been forced to go on a walk or go to some social event or maybe just do drugs which at least was seen as wrong back then

    -the institutions have been wholly captured by the State and thus promote as much agony and misery as possible

    We’re all inhabitants of Heartbreak World.

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    The entirety of this social arrangement traces its roots to the condition of the parenting, which is pretty much shite but improving. The Boomers spanked at about an 88% rate (off the top of my head), Gen X spanks at 45%, and Millennials spank at about 20%.

    The younger generations still have a way to go on the verbal side of things. Doesn’t help that everyone is becoming illiterate.

    You wouldn’t know parenting is improving because spankers, who are hotheads, are the most full-throated about their bad habits and will gnaw off their own leg to justify hitting children in someone else’s eyes. This is simply a repetition of their own histories where they were crippled by their abusive parents.

    It’s ugly. Anyway, to the topic at hand.

    I have this phenomenal track record at this point, stretching back well over a decade, of getting men into marriages.

    The main ingredient necessary is a willingness on the part of the man to humble himself and learn what needs to be learned, by the logic of his own life, what will get him across the finish line.

    Inquire at stevefranssen@protonmail.com.

    Most men don’t have the stones.

    Philosophy is a mirror. If a man can’t face the damage he’s done in his life, he will inevitably personalize with you, who are holding up the mirror, and either storm off or slink away in bitter dejection. The more proud ones will latch on to some lesser figure who isn’t as good at holding up the mirror and will endlessly console themselves as if you were the perp. It’s childhood all over again for these guys.

    People who weren’t encouraged in childhood will interpret encouragement as domination in adulthood.

    I really should make more YouTube videos where I explain the finer details of all this. I’ve written some hearty-helping books, such as last year’s Family FormationI’m like the 21st century’s Carl Jung/Hermann Hesse/Aristotle/Mel Gibson/Bruce Springsteen.

    To rescue a woman, if she wants to be rescued, you have to be willing to burn the midnight oil in your self-knowledge work. You have to be willing to weather incredible storms of self-doubt. You have to be willing to reckon with the depths of your own depravity and your seemingly unending capacity for intellectual manipulation. You have to be willing to back to Beginner Mode and live with the incredible impatience this decision provokes.

    And if you can do this, it’s honestly just a quick hop, skip, and a jump to things working out for you.

    But people typically don’t want to be emotionally available like that. They want to keep extensive contact with their families of origin. They want to bury their heads in work. They went to stay hooked on their addictions. They want to have some PODCAST blaring in their ear so they can assuage all those teeny little voices of intellectual insecurity in themselves.

    It doesn’t take that long to get into fighting shape, if you’re willing to be humble.

    Humility is how you rescue a woman from Heartbreak World.

    The more hubris, the more skewed your life will become:

    If you already got a woman for yourself, 99% of the time because you’re decent looking and have a sex drive, you will damn her to having to live with your unresolved demons. You won’t do the “Big Reset” that is required for virtue to flourish in a romantic relationship. And the best you can hope for in the face of your stubbornness is a life of petty vanities — which of course you run the risk of your children making a complete bonfire of, particularly if they sniff out ole’ Franssen’s online work. Aren’t I the meanest man on the Internet? I wrote as much in my 2019 sleep-deprived book of allegories Coom, Consume, Comply. People didn’t know what to make of that but a few souls did listen. And of course, I say “mean” tongue-in-cheek cause it’s the opposite that is true: I’m the sweetiest. I’ve been the sweetiest peetiest person alive on this planet since Freddie Mercury died of AIDS in 1991.

    Rest in peace, sweet prince.

    Sometimes it’s like I’m roller-skating, chewing bubble gum, and making the finest philosophy this world has yet seen. Just have to get a wee bit of shut eye.


    Did you have fun on this jaunt?

    You thought I was going to give you a simple formula like:

    A) Bonk woman over the head

    B) Drag her back to your cave

    C) Quietly watch over her to ensure she does chores

    D) Put baby in her

    That’s what a lot of guys like to hear these days. Use penile implants! Obsess over your appearance! Pay $995 for the Man Camp! Pay hundreds and hundreds for an hour of the guru’s time!

    Is that what you want me to be, you brigands?

    You abuse me!

    Toodle-loo.


    Watch my anti-spanking SAM HYDE video that is my #1 most watched video on my new, much reduced YouTube channel. The spankers came out in FORCE! Dang!

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    “Hoedown, gotta lock her up before she wrecks this town.”

    Listen to my 2023 song Hoedown on Soundcloud!

  • Men Wither Without Affection

    Your brain is literally drying out.

    I remember back in like 2011 listening to a Molyneux podcast where he was pointing out how Tony Robbins’ whole motivational schtick was predicated upon his being 6’6” with great teeth, good looks, and a full head of hair. That life was on Easy Mode for such a person (this is a rough paraphrase) and that you couldn’t extract much in the way of universals from Robbins’ advice (this is a very rough paraphrase, basically my own take). That if you wanted life advice, you needed a more challenging proof of concept than basically a born demigod.

    As an aside, it used to kind of irk me that Molyneux always mentioned people’s hair as an attribute, having clearly lost his hair sometime in his 20’s, but now that I’m older, I appreciate just how much a full head of hair contributes to people’s experience of you. Having entered middle age last year, I see so many men my age turn to hair loss solutions and wonder when it will be me that takes a gander in that direction.


    What remains true of men, irrespective their looks or their station, a man needs affection.

    Men without affection wither away.

    There are all these studies on WWII orphans and Eastern European orphanages after the Goy War that show babies who were not held simply passed away.

    The same is true of adults, men or women.

    You need love.

    My man is oxytocin-maxxing.

    I find myself in the lonely and underappreciated position of attempting to administer to the needs of decent people without the support of State or religion or credentialism or corporatism.

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    I chose literally the most difficult path in life that I could possibly perceive.

    It could have been easier for me. But my effect as a “spreader of virtue” would have been diminished. I have never been seriously tempted to step off of the path but there have been opportunities, lucrative ones!

    The love and affection of the good people in my life help keep me going.

    And if I did not learn to love myself in principle and based on an observable virtue in myself originally, I would not be where I am today. I would not know the splendor that I have known.

    Trying to do it all alone is folly.

    People don’t want to live with the humiliation they feel when they go to some menial meetup or a hopeless date with a diminished prospect.

    Not everyone gets to be Tony Robbins.

    Tony Robbins gets to be Tony Robbins, 6’6” and 150 IQ, because he won the genetic jackpot.

    People like Tony Robbins are exceedingly rare.

    And they do us no favors by adopting the bulk of their children instead of MAKING A BABY.

    It is better to process the humiliation you feel at being whatever age you are and living through the social hellscape that governments via COVID and now the Iran War have created. Yes, it stings to know that maybe you could have found that special someone when you were in high school or in college when everyone is supposed to go to college. But what if the distance between you and your future spouse is exactly the amount of that sting? Get through the pain, get to the other side.

    People are withering.

    It is important to take heart in your own potential. You have to find that aspect of yourself that is loveable.

    If you have no physical affection in your life, you must understand that this absence is shrinking your brain. Musculature that should be strong and resilient is instead fading into the background. How many months since your last strong embrace? How long since you kissed another person? How long since you’ve held hands? Why let the world separate you from this? Find the love you need. Follow the dream.

    Without love, you will wither away.

    You need oxytocin pumping through your system.

    If you can’t get affection today, consider taking some l. reuteri.

    This will get oxytocin pumping in your system. Then you will start to think and feel like a squishy, flesh and blood person again. You won’t be a dried out husk of disillusionment and isolation.

    Don’t be tricked by the Sciencebros out there who promise you that testosterone and peptides will be the cure to all your ills. Test supplementation can make you more autistic and strange and inaccessible to women. Peptides will never ease the agony of all those days lost not spent in full earnest pursuit of connection and affection.

    You want to be someone’s Valentine.

    Affection gives us a biochemical cascade that plugs us into reality.

    Look at the hellscape of 2026. Who is doing anything artistically worthwhile or compelling at a humanistic level? Only the people who have affection and bonding in their personal lives. Everyone else is spinning out, however charismatically and based on the remaining fumes of previous affection and socialization.

    Love is the renewing principle at the heart of existence.

    Without love, there is no future.

    Make your future happen.


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    Catch my latest video on Women? It managed to tick off a few feminists.

  • On Sharing The TV Remote

    Are you with someone who is mean-spirited?

    The majority of spousal conflict goes something along the lines of:

    -Bob has Preference A.

    -Jane has Preference B.

    -Both take it personally to some degree and squabble.

    Let’s do an example:

    -Bob wants to watch King Of Queens (an old-time Franssen favorite).

    -Jane wants to watch Gay’s Anatomy (objectively shitty show).

    -Both find one another’s choices repulsive (we don’t accept anti-Kevin James slander in this house!)

    What to do?

    First of all, if you’ve made it so far into marriage that your wife still thinks Gay’s Anatomy or Sabrina Carpenter or whatever the heck is entertaining and useful to her, you’ve made a major mistake. You have failed to educate your wife in good taste. You have failed to show her the meanness inherent in some programming and less abundant in other programming.

    The thing about this is that enlightening your wife requires some measure of artistic and emotional sensitivity and vulnerability on your part. If you are not a person going through meaningful suffering or a climb to the top (in terms of self-actualization), how can you expect her to invest in any art or entertainment that has even a few vestigial elements of these themes?

    If you are not real, how can you expect your spouse to want to even attempt to become real.

    By the way, I’m not here defending King of Queens as high art, just comparing it relative to Gay’s Anatomy.

    If you genuinely don’t enjoy “adult contemporary” or anything particularly contemplative or nuanced and provocative, don’t be surprised when your spouse tries to drag you into the gutter – and perhaps enlists her “support network” in the effort.

    There’s a kind of mean bigotry that most people are engaged in these days. And if you are with someone who is mean-spirited, moved by the salacious, or prone to ghetto sentiments, why aren’t you taking responsibility for this?

    One of the cardinal sins of a man in dating is that he “takes it easy” in the early going, so as to not “scare off” the woman, and then her subsidized retardation blows up in the man’s face and suddenly he’s in a prison cell of in-laws, inanity TV bull-pucky, and her “community”. She takes you for a lummox!

    If you can’t respect the dignity of your #1 person enough to take a firm stand when they go unconscious and disassociate, you are signaling to your unconscious that you don’t take philosophy seriously. Watch your apathy grow. Watch yourself turn to mysticism, hideous and self-effacing, to cover up the crime – the crime of apathy.

    There’s more I want to say but I’m knee-deep in writing and recording music over here plus it’s someone’s special day.

    Did you enjoy this? Donate to get me cough up more.

    Sending you love and relaxation from my A Man Without A Face artist’s retreat on the Maine coastline 😉

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  • Man Gets Woman And Fattens Like A Porker

    Where does the glory go?

    In my now not insignificant years of being in the world, I have noticed an alarming trend.

    Same guy just happier now. Wildly clearer thinking.

    This first began in my early adulthood when my good college buddy got a girlfriend by the middle of freshman year. He and I were on the same floor in the dorms. The girlfriend started sleeping over. She’d bring her friends over. The other guys would go stark raving mad and congregate in large numbers in this small room. I quietly resented the change in our floor’s dynamics and tried to stay out of it. The women would bring the most inane chatter with them. There was always some girl on the periphery that was being a slut – big source of gossip. The men would nod along in a daze or play Xbox or chitchat. I’d pop in but I couldn’t handle it. There was one young woman, Morgan, who in particular I felt just sunk everything to such a putrid level. I resented the change. In the early months it felt like the guys and I were building something. We were building what were supposed to be long-lasting bonds. We’d go on joy rides. We’d do all sorts of wild stuff. One of the main guys gets a woman and suddenly he’s the main guy and everyone is congregating around him and his girlfriend.

    At my university, there were co-ed dorms and lots of birth control freely available. I thought it was kind of psychotic and strangely scientific without fully understanding why. I started to read the works of Neil Postman and came across the term “social engineering” and then better understood all that was repugnant to me but couldn’t divorce myself from.

    The women invade the men’s space, terraform things to their liking, and the men go soft and doughy.

    Let’s cuddle on the bed and watch TikToks, Daddy Poopee.

    Women have a domesticating effect on men. That’s no secret.

    It’s the way that men respond to it that unnerves me.

    I write you from a firmly ensconced position of domestic bliss:
    -I am a father who practices peaceful parenting
    -my wife and I have been together for 16 years
    -my day-to-day concerns revolve around the needs of my family
    -I had to retire from politics due to health concerns and family considerations

    I go back and forth on the domesticating effect women have on men.

    This is from a recent livestream Stefan Molyneux did with his daughter where she did his makeup. Is this a good or bad thing? If I was in a will-to-power, I would automatically and reflexively say YES with contempt. But that’s just programming. I thought the livestream was funny. I guess his daughter wears makeup. If everyone is doing it, you leave yourself at a disadvantage by not doing it. I will say, Stefan is manipulating his SMV upwards here by wearing makeup and that’s a form of dishonesty 😉

    Would I ever do something like this? Hard to say. I don’t know – ask me in 20 years. Stefan is 20 years older than me. I’m so far removed from Makeup World. My wife stopped wearing makeup like six months into knowing her. She never felt right about it. She is lovely to me without it.

    Without his daughter and wife, Stefan wouldn’t be the person that he is. And I rather enjoy the person he is. He offers a genteel touch to the world that it so desperately needs. He’s British and has a theater background, which is a part of the charm – if you’ve read any Shakespeare you just kinda get where he’s coming from. Shakespeare lived in a fun world with far less government and zero multiculturalism.


    The way men respond to women’s domesticating effect is what unnerves me. There’s a privation men express in their over-enthusiasm to be tamed. Like they weren’t brought up enough and so they yearn for some kind of direction. Perhaps they didn’t get enough mothering and never sought to work that out in themselves before getting into a relationship. That’s probably it.

    Fockin’…

    I never ever wanted to take my cues from that direction. Despite rough health that has diminished me, I have always sought to reach out and up toward the stars. I’m not saying I haven’t changed relative to my wife’s maternal and nesting instincts. That’s an important part of being human. I’m saying that that’s not all there is to me. I am not subsumed by it.

    Rather than do the hard work of self-discovery, a lot of men leave large portions of their personality up to the effect that their marriage has on them. And if their woman is psychologically immature, they sort of live with that and let it be the way things are until things change on the woman’s time. They don’t permit themselves to feel impatient and dissatisfied with this arrangement.

    I never wanted that for myself.

    I have never wanted to live in reaction to someone else. That does not mean I don’t ask my kid with some frequency what they need, would like to do, or how I’m doing as a parent. The experience of the people around me is of vital importance to me. This is so much the case that when my health was at its worst, the family gave me the feedback that we should move south a ways to sunnier climes and I made sure we did just that.

    We are talking about a compass orientation. The typical situation with Western men is that the woman enters the room and all other considerations are dropped. I refuse to live this way. The main thing is the main thing.

    Men are broken by giving up the hunt.

    Women will goop men’s brains by cuddling them and encouraging them to watch TV shows. And let’s be honest, the word “encouragement” here isn’t actually what happens. They whine and blather about their “needs” as if they have self-knowledge when 98% of the time they fockin’ don’t.

    I don’t partake in this. Never have. Never will.

    Women are trained to be feminists and none of that programming is ever undone unless she runs into a philosophical, self-knowledgeable 🔥White Man🔥 who keeps the flame and burns away the programming, no matter the cost. There is a superstructure, a super-sophisticated curriculum women have been raised in and their every impulse is to be the water the seeps into the rock of the man and breaks him apart.

    The media landscape is so radically pathetic and meager. And that is where men take their cues from. And so they give up – quietly and to little fanfare.

    Happy wife, happy life eh, heheh? Happy daughter, happy totter, hoohooo.

    Men get a woman and they just give up.

    The quest is gone. No search for the Holy Grail. Just cummies and rubbies. Snackies and whackies.

    Who still yearns?

    I cannot hide my disgust response.

    It’s a bitter disappointment to see so many men step off the path. Over and over, my whole adult life has been seeing men do this.

    Men’s hormones are getting wrecked by modern pollution and guys just unconsciously accept it and lose frame. Their women help them. The wildness goes out of the man and he forgets.

    Men are so cowed that they forget the glory of the past (liberalism). Or men get into these clever arguments with themselves (aspects of libertarianism) that they forget what drives them and animates them in the first place: to build, to spread virtue, to expand, to perfect justice, to fly.

    I won’t do it. And yet I am happy, fulfilled, and my home is peaceful – full of love. It’s a good situation. You can have it all in this life.

    I know how it’s done.

    Reach out to me for personal guidance.

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  • Women Who Don’t Want To Be Wives

    We all know feminism has created millions of women who are married to the State.

    How can you outcompete ~$110k a year in welfare offered up to single moms? As a man, you have to earn like never before just to tempt a woman.

    A woman isn’t automatically cured of her feminism by getting married.

    There isn’t exactly a lot of quality assurance baked into society anymore. Multiculturalism, liberalism, the child abuse pandemic, and inflation have destroyed the pillars of the community.

    The community used to keep us honest to our values.

    No community = no values transmission.

    As a man, you have to ask yourself: is this woman wife material? Can she be cured of her feminism?

    I have a book that deals with these questions: The End Of Female Evil.

    If you truly love your woman, you will want to help her be disabused of her illusions. When you love someone, you tell them the truth.


    Wives who don’t want to be wives owe their loyalty to someone besides their husband.

    Here are some of the ideas they prefer over their husband:

    -my parents loved me and my childhood was fine
    -it’s good to have a job because my gal pal has a job
    -the current financial order is the same as yesteryear and so I’m entitled to spend
    -I’m really smart and so my efforts are best spent vexing you
    -my government job I had before you is going to last forever
    -my high school gal pals are forever and high school is forever
    -there are no consequences for my shitty behavior because the courts are on my side

    The common theme is the acceptance of messaging that, embedded within it, has an anti-male bias.

    You must remember how all-pervasive liberalism is in 2026.

    Thankfully, the old order is falling. Democracy is gay and dead from AIDS. Immigrants are smelly. Bankers have no clout. The military isn’t glorious or patriotic. Mainstream media is pathetic and behind the times. Movies suck. The food is poisoned. Blue light gives you cancer. The religion of the 20th century is gone.

    But within every person there is an essential question: how much of my personality is anchored in the old order?

    For the Boomers, the answer is 99%.

    For Gen X’ers, the answer is 85%

    For Millennials, the answer is 65%

    For Zoomers, the answer is 50%.

    Think of that: your wife or prospective wife has those exact odds, based on her age cohort. Millennials are passing out of breeding age, so we’re talking Zoomers almost exclusively at this point.

    50/50 chance she’s able to recover.

    If you don’t know how to undo someone’s programming, your odds are dicey.

    If you learn from my books and paywall content (kept gated to prevent AI from stealing my hard labor) how to deprogram someone, you have the winning edge. Yet, people’s insecurities go deep. Never underestimate the world’s ability to derail the progress you feel you are making in yourself or in someone else.

    Some wives just don’t want to be wives. And they’ll make your life difficult if you have a child with them. Children are not leverage. But tell that to a woman who was raised by the State, is loyal to some delusion, and undermines your good word as a husband.

    Guard your inputs.

    Women have lower boundaries than men. They get brain warped by programming more easily than men. Men have always been the ones to strike out into the wilderness and endure social disapproval in order to complete the hunt.

    Set aside your lovey-dovey enamor for a time in order to view the woman clearly.

    The vast majority of human communication is non-philosophical programming. Programming has been designed to plummet White birthrates. A woman has embedded within her messaging that is anti-maternal. Find it, work it out.

    And if you can’t, run run run the other direction.

    Need help? Drop me a line at stevefranssen@protonmail.com

    You are being lulled into a false sense of security by billionaire sophists. Their stormtroopers are the women. The women drive the growth of the State. They have been convinced of insecurity, through media programming, and so they will flock as a group to security – welfare.

    Personality is an infectious disease. Madness is transmitted through media. The higher the production value, i.e. the greater the capital base, the more legitimacy women will grant it. They want luxury. That’s the buffer from Stone Age privation. The Middle Class has been wiped out by people who voted themselves into the treasury. The Federal Reserve rules all.

    Keep on walking.


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