“The way you time travel as a man is when you’re 22, you’re 17, when you’re 24 you just fuck around a lot and before you know it you’ll be 30, you’ll be 40 — you’ll have fucking nothing. ‘Bye, four years! I thought I would have learned more by now. I got a tattoo and worked in a store. I thought I would be somewhere better by now.’ Shack up with your high school or college girlfriend. 22 year old guys know a lot about relationships so it’s important to commit and get a girlfriend at age 22.” –Sam Hyde
Men with mommy issues are all too eager to consign their lives away at a far younger age than they are ready for. Coupling up to “save on bills” and feel less guilty about the lack of love in a relationship comes at a terrible price: male achievement.
The cruel fact about Boomer/Gen X parenting is that most young men (18 to 30) don’t have the personal stamina to support a romantic relationship and any degree of career ambition at the same time. For those with attachment issues, the easiest choice is to go into the realm of “feels” with a woman. The current cultural pressure is to serve the needs of women at great personal expense. Men are funneled into coupling up and out of the realm of male achievement. Young men are avoidant of achievement. They have been trained to be so because of massive daycare rates in the 1990’s and 2000’s and because of the predominance of feminism in the culture and public schooling.
From personal experience, the large majority of men who get into long term relationships at a young age do so because they are isolated from any meaningful connection with other men and because they lack the courage to define themselves in the arena of male achievement. Only a rare few, generally those who were parented the best or have the best genes, are able to support a long term relationship and male achievement at the same time. These people are the breadwinners of our society and the backbone of civilization.
You may point a finger at me and say, “Well, Steven, you’ve been with a woman since you were 23.” It’s true. But I am also accomplished academically, socially, intellectually, psychologically, and financially. I never lived off of my wife’s money and have never relied on her to point the way for me. I have never allow feminine estrangement to come into my male friendships. In fact, I have burned out a lot of friends because they couldn’t keep up with my achievement.
I would caution men out there not to use a relationship with a woman as an emotional crutch. Women are far more empowered in today’s day and age. It’s a bad, emasculating look for a man to rely on that fact by coupling up. Better to spend those four years that Sam Hyde refers to as a single man who is striving to establish himself in a valuable vocation.
If male achievement is at all an opportunity cost for you or has been in getting into a relationship with a woman, you’re probably a loser to some degree. There is a terrible price to pay for this kind of arrogance and personal neglect. Toe the line, pay the price, and get moving.
If you haven’t compromised yourself in this manner, I applaud you. Our world needs more men like you. Settle the money question before you settle the woman question. Your children will thank you.